Saturday, September 1, 2012

Despair

Dear Cartoon Girl,

Does it ever seem to you that your life is not your own? That you’ll never have the time or energy or inclination to write again? Do you ever despair, Cartoon Girl?

— About to Give Up


Dear About,

I can’t count the times I’ve decided to stop writing and throw myself full-force into everything else — my day job, the garden I’ve always meant to plant, the rooms that need painting, windows that need washing, clothes that need mending, shoes that need shining, knives that need sharpening. All the movies I’ve never watched, the books I’ve never read. The family and friends I’ve neglected. My cat.

No one ever tries to change my mind. No one shakes me by the shoulders and says, Snap out of it, Cartoon Girl! Go back to your writing! The world is waiting for your magnum opus!

Somehow, though, I always do snap out of it. My day job wears on me. The garden — I forget how much more to it there is than planting. There’s also watering and weeding, and then what do you do with all those vegetables? As for housework, a single Saturday spent cleaning out closets can send me flying to my desk, pen in hand, my hair on end.

Remember that verse in Ecclesiastes, a time to take in, a time to write down? Declare this your time to take in, About. Don’t allow yourself to write at all. Do everything but. See how long you can hold out.

Love,
Cartoon Girl



 

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