The five P's of attending a reading

Dear Cartoon Girl,

I will soon be attending a reading by one of my favorite authors. Actually his novels are just okay, but HE is absolutely gorgeous. How do I catch his attention without appearing over-anxious?

– Counting the Days


Dear Counting,

Remember the five P's.

1. Be purposeful. Show up for the reading like this is where you mean to be. Don't come dressed in gardening clothes. No tennis togs. Wear what you'd wear to lunch with a friend in a nice but not fancy restaurant.

2. Be punctual. Show up early – how early will depend on the writer's popularity – and get a good seat, not necessarily front-row but close enough so that the experience will feel intimate.

3. Be prepared. Come with an intelligent question in mind, one you'd genuinely like an answer to, and don't be shy about asking it – but wait for the Q&A. Raise your hand politely; don't wave it in the air. Don't sigh aloud if someone else gets called on first.

Some good questions: "What gave you the idea for this book?" "All of your books are set in [Appalachia, the desert, the jungle, outer space, Michigan]; would you talk about the influence of geography on your work?" "How do you know so much about [taxidermy, geology, music, pyrotechnics]?" "How did you decide what form this book should take?" Writers love talking about these things. They love readers who give them a chance to.

Questions not to ask: "Do you use a pen or a pencil?" "Is this novel true or is it fiction?" "How much money do you expect to make?" "Do you ever worry your good looks keep you from being taken seriously?" "Does it bother you not to have won any awards?"

4. Be pleasant. As you watch him read, let your eyes be soft, kind, encouraging, forgiving, never hungry or crazed. Smile when you hear a well-turned phrase – a slightly dreamy half-smile, like you're remembering some private joke. Laugh at his jokes, but not too loudly or for too long. Contain yourself.

5. Pay. Buy the book and get him to sign it. Thank him. Maybe as he's passing it back to you your hands will lightly touch.

Love,
Cartoon Girl